Make Your Own Ketchup

Dating advice:
Never date anyone who prefers catsup to ketchup. Dealbreaker.

Can one adore cheese and date a vegan? Jesus says in the Bible that this type of relationship will end in disaster, and you will die alone. Would you love someone who doesn't love Parmesan?

Back to Ketchup. It's so very easy/fun to make. And vegan. I think of ketchup as a sauce, although Important People call it a condiment. I used the recipe below as a marinade, while baking, and as a sauce with baked chicken recently. It was very tasty.

You may even get 2nd degree burns while making it. Pretend you're using a hand blender and decide a little splashing of molten lava ketchup drops are what you'd like. Lots of fun. Pure joy.

Spicy Ketchup Recipe:

Large stock pot... hot (high/med-high)
Olive oil
1 diced red onion... brown it in the oil
Add
3 stalks celery chopped
1 fennel bulb chopped
1 handful of cilantro
1 minced Serrano pepper (a bold jalapeno or 2 would work as well)
3 minced garlic cloves
2 28 oz cans whole tomatoes
1/2lb fresh tomatoes, crushed
1 thumb-sized piece of raw ginger, minced
2 tbsp crushed red pepper
1/4c dark brown sugar
1/4c molasses
red wine vinegar to taste, 1/2c at least
salt to taste

Use your hand blender to mix all this up. Try for no large vegetable pieces.

Then simmer for a long time. Go for a run. You're looking for viscosity.

Use your trusty hand blender to puree periodically as the mixture simmers down. Take care, and enjoy your interactions with the boiling ketchup lava.

Taste often and if necessary, add more vinegar or sugar to adjust taste while simmering.

How will you know when it's done?

Because you will be looking at a pot of tasty ketchup. And blisters from those wonderful scalds on your arm.